His Hundred Sins
by btRkun
Summary: Oneshot: InuKag. In order to save the one he loves, Inuyasha loses control and massacres a hundred villagers. This is the aftermath.


AN: This is a one-shot. It's a very angsty fic about the aftermath of a battle in which Inuyasha lost control and turned into a full demon in order to protect Kagome. I hope you all enjoy and don't become too saddened.

**His Hundred Sins**

By: btRkun

The stench of blood invaded his nostrils, his head shaking back and forth, trying to escape… unwilling to open his eyes and see the desolation, ruin, destruction… death.

Cold death permeated the air and he gagged, his consciousness slowly returning to him.

Vaguely he was aware of a pressure around his midsection. Something, or rather someone, was clinging to him… crying… begging him to return. Return from where? Arms around his waist trembled and as his hearing returned to normal the volume of the crying increased.

Consciousness gripped him and he was suddenly aware of the pain in his body. He dropped to his knees, bringing the person clinging to him down with him.

_What happened?_ He wondered. Panic overcame him as he realized he could not remember what happened. _We were staying… somewhere, seeking shelter from the rain…_

His tongue felt thick and sluggish, his mouth parched, throat dry and sore. A wave of nausea overcame him as the wind blew a fresh wave of repugnant death and decay from corpses up and in his nostrils. He gagged again and almost willed unconsciousness to overtake him once more.

_I smelled… something. A youkai. Seshoumaru. We fought._

The young hanyou opened his eyes slowly, seeing everything in hues of red rather than the normal shades in which he saw the world.

Thunder rolled in the distance and rain began to drizzle from the angry skies above. The wind grew fierce, the girl's cries at his waist drowned out by more thunder.

_Seshoumaru_ _used his poison claw… and clawed through my stomach._

At first the lifeless lumps in the grass a hundred feet away looked like rocks, still tinged pink. But soon his vision began to clear, normal colors replacing those of the red hues.

As thunder clapped again, louder this time, the girl clinging to him started calling his name, noticing his eyes were open. He felt his palm crushed against a wet cheek, his claws – strangely long and abnormally sharp – grazed her soft flesh.

He blinked the rain from his eyes and his vision cleared. The strange rocks began to take form.

_I remember… blood, my blood, pooling around me. Kagome was screaming, Miroku holding her back…._

Everything seemed strangely gray. He felt colorblind, like a common mutt. But what he mistook for rocks weren't rocks, because rocks didn't have hair.

His eyes widened in horror at the sight before him: a battlefield. Mangled bodies, bloodied and decapitated lain strewn about. A hundred bodies at least. All dead. The stench of eternal, somber slumber wafted around him, blowing his blood stained hair with the wind. His torn haori billowing in unison.

_Seshoumaru_… _he… knocked Tetsusaiga from me, too far for me to reach in time._

There was a village to his far left. Unconditional fear emanated from the many women and children peering through the windows and behind buildings. He turned his head to face them and smelled their fear sharply increase. An elderly woman screamed for the girl clinging to his waist to run away from the monster. Was he that monster? What had happened?

He shook his head in attempt to relieve the sharp stabbing pain in his head. What happened?

_I felt helpless… Sesshoumaru was going to kill Kagome, I had to stop him! But I was bleeding so much, and Tetsusaiga was too far away…. Kagome was going to die!_

Rain came down in sheets now, soaking his hair, plastering his haori against his battered body, drenching the girl below him who was still screaming his name.

There was so much blood… so much, everywhere. Lakes of blood. Heads over there… bodies twenty feet away.

Inuyasha looked away from the massacre, for that was what it was. A massacre. His hands balled into fists, clenching so hard his now shortened claws pricked his calloused palms until droplets of his own blood dripped from his knuckles.

_My mind slipped… all hope was lost, no one could have saved Kagome. She was going to die. I couldn't just let another woman in my life die! …something snapped… all I could see was red. I became a monster._

He was the cause of this. These innocent people couldn't defend against his maddened frenzy to protect her, to protect the girl still clinging to him, frantically screaming out his name.

His eyes stung. A strange new feeling welled up from inside and tears began to prickle the corner of his eyes.

_I felt like something was tearing me apart from the inside. I can't remember anything else. Oh gods, what have I done?_

Guilt. Nothing but guilt. Terrible, overwhelming, haunting, nauseating guilt. _What have I done!_

Conscious fully returned to him now, he opened his eyes and searched for the remains of his friends, of the formidable foe who had given him no choice but change into the monster who felt nothing but intense bloodlust.

He smelled Sesshoumaru's blood, but there was no sight of his body. He had escaped, but not unscathed. His friends, he was grateful to see, were huddled together a safe distance away, looking at him with sorrow mingled with suspicion and fear. Miroku, Sango, Shippou, and Kirara… but no Kagome.

_Kagome…._

In the back of his mind he heard her scream his name again, and he slowly looked down into worried brown eyes.

She was crying. Her eyes puffy, cheeks red, nose wet. Inuyasha looked at her. He saw her mouth move, her hands gripping his haori… shaking him. But he heard nothing.

_Oh gods, what have I done? Kagome…._

Her strange clothing was torn, he saw. A ghastly bruise, large and purple, accented her shoulder. There were tiny pin pricks up and down her upper arm, her blood slowly oozing from the wounds. Had he caused that? Did he hurt her?

He felt her shake him again, but he still couldn't feel it. He continued to stare into her eyes, without actually seeing her. Unwillingly, his head lifted to look at his massacre again.

Death. It was everywhere. And he had caused it. Bodies everywhere. And so much blood. So much blood.

His knees hit the soft earth, mud, blood, and rain staining his haori further. A hand rested against his cheek. Tears were falling freely now.

_I'm a monster. A mindless monster. Those bodies… that could have been Kagome._

He looked at the girl again, seeing her for the first time, overwhelming panic now replacing the intense guilt. He could have killed her just as easily as those innocent villagers. She could have died!

He forcefully and abruptly shoved her away, trying to scramble away from her. He yelled at her, what he didn't know. But she crawled to him again frantically trying to calm him down. So he scrambled away farther, and faster, trying to get to his feet to run away but succeeding only in slipping in the mud and blood and falling on his backside.

She was crying harder now, still trying to get to him. They were both covered with dark reddish-brown muck now. When she caught up to him and hugged him tightly he tried prying her arms from him, but she held on tighter. He pleaded with her. He begged her. He was nothing but a monster that would kill her in an instant. He didn't deserve her love. He didn't deserve to even look at her.

Why didn't the tears stop? Why didn't she understand that he couldn't be near her? Didn't she understand that she could die!

But she held on tighter, crying into his haori. He heard only bits and pieces of her hysterical crying, but what he did hear made him cry harder.

"I'm never leaving you, you jerk! So stop trying to get away from me!"

He was undeserving of such loyalty.

"None of this was your fault, Inuyasha! They blindly attacked you!"

He couldn't possibly believe her words. He felt so alone, but at the same time was comforted by the arms wrapped around his body. Every time he turned into a mindless monster there was a chance he wouldn't return to normal. Every time there was a chance he would kill her. And yet she always remained by his side. _Why!_

"Stay with me, Inuyasha! Don't leave me here alone! I don't want you to leave!"

Such undeserved loyalty. Such undeserved love. And yet after a year of battles, blood, tears, betrayal, and hardship… she always stayed by his side. Even now, in the aftermath of his massacre she wouldn't leave him be. She was always annoying like that.

"I'm not leaving you!"

Afterall, she was the only one that could bring him out of his mindless rage. She was the only one that could tame the monster. He doubted if even Kikyo could do that. _Kagome…._

"Inuyasha!"

"Wha… what have I done, Kagome?" His voice sounded hollow, devoid of emotion. But inside he was being eaten away by guilt. "I could have hurt you," His voice cracked. "I could have killed you."

She shook her head against his chest, refusing to let go. "No, you would never hurt me. You've done nothing but protect me, Inuyasha. You protected me against Sesshoumaru's attack. You would never hurt me!"

"Kagome!" He cried out, pulling her into a crushing hug, not caring if she knew he was crying into her hair, smelling the familiar scent of her lavender soap. "Don't ever leave me!" He choked out.

"Never, Inuyasha. I'll always be by your side." She replied calmly, hugging him in return, thankful her hanyou was back.

AN: a very angsty one-shot if I do say so myself. But it was a good warm-up, because now I get to write chapter 11 for Sex and Drugs! So please review and let me know what you thought of this one-shot. J And then read and review Sex and Drugs! YAY!


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